My experience begins in complete panic. Fear of going wrong, of being alone, of not having money, going to the hospital and being disempowered by doctors of my own femininity and strength.
I was desperately seeking a force, a security, an angel. I was looking for a person to calm down and tell me what I have to do at home, that I was not that anaemic, and I do not have a light weight, much less that the fact that I was a negative RH was a great excuse for a caesarean or so my vagina was too small and has to be cut.
I was almost desperate at 7 months to see Lex for the first time, with her family and her beautiful wise smile, she said that she was Doula and that she had a lot of experience with her 6 births and that she could help. That day, I did not pick up the phone to call her, but some weeks went by, I considered the person to be with me for my birth, that's what's most important to life, but my partner always reminded me, "But what about that woman? I feel like she's the person." The Great Mystery and its encounters put us face to face finally and then we set a day to meet again.
She surprised me right away, instead of asking me my haemoglobin level, my weight, my age ... asked me about what I felt, what my fears were, and what I hoped she could help me with.
It was an incredible day, I came home with a deputy for one worthy of myself.
The months went by and Lex never disappointed me, to be more exact, she always surprised me with a joy of answering my fearful questions and representing so much more than I thought I someone capable of representing in my life. We listened to the baby's heartbeat and I felt its fondling, always when seeing her, she guided me on a diet and exercise for muscle discomfort. She also knew how to listen to me and hold me when necessary. In a short time I considered her an older sister.
It was very important for my partner too, we did Hypno-birthing together and in the last weeks I saw her almost every day. Lex taught me to credit my body and nature. We made a birthing plan with main ideas and gently she directed me to a delivery that respected my wishes, beliefs, and time.
The day of childbirth came, in the early hours it was very quiet, practised hypno-birthing, slept, ate and received all the tea and homeopaths that Lex gave me with great satisfaction. We listened to the beats and took turns with massages. It was me, my partner, Lex and the baby. Lex, very sensitive too often left us alone to progress in intimacy, this was incredible! The conversations were concentrated and respectful with my space and concentration, I felt very comfortable.
Time passed and Lex helped me to unravel or dilate through some meditation. The breathing was very organic, it never taught me the technique, but a sense of relief and relaxation that is an exhalation in the power to give. The moment arrived and we entered the pool, already !!! I might be dying there and I would be happy! I had lots of joy and willpower. A few hours later, with a strong back and some good jerks, the baby was born.
Something beautiful happened there, Lex followed, and took no one's place. I felt my childbirth something very intimate between me, my baby and my partner, that was very important for me.
Lex made all the decisions of a responsible and careful person. I believe that in every birth there is something to heal, I feel that I heal much of myself in this experience so deadly that brings us to our real truth.
As a Doula, lex had not only accompanied the birth, but also she was part of the post-partum which in my opinion is sometimes harder than the act of giving birth. She was present and helped me in the face of the doubts of breastfeeding, eating, bathing ... and much more than you can imagine. Already at this time of the championship I considered her a second mother.
It is incredible the importance of union of the women in these moments so intimately feminine, if one is seeking a true companion for their own journey of self-knowledge during the delivery, Lex is more than recommended by me.
🦋doula (n): from Greek doulē ‘female servant’
Ina Mae Gaskin says that “if a woman doesn’t look like a goddess during labour, someone’s not treating her right.”
Having my doula Lex at my birth was a GAME CHANGER. When I called Lex to tell her I was in labour, she had just arrived to the each over an hour away - she immediately jumped on her motorbike and came directly to me. From that moment, she never left my side - energetically and physically she supported me through every wave. Her constant steady encouragement was the backbone that carried me through.
With a combination of homeopathic remedies, essential oils and massage, she created a soothing, nurturing space that made me feel fully supported and loved. She gently brought me back to the breath, hour after hour, wave after wave. When I had self doubts or fears surfaced, I would turn to her and she would know just what to say (or not to say). She helped me move through positions from the bed to birthing ball to standing. She knew exactly the places to massage and where to apply pressure. She literally lifted me up when I couldn’t lift myself. (Talk about sisters supporting sisters!!!)
I trusted Lex because of her experience, her hypnobirthing practice, her calm demeanour and more than anything because she is a mamma of 6. I strongly believe that her presence at my birth was a huge contributing factor in my having the beautiful natural home water birth I wanted for my baby and me. Yes, I also had arguably one of the world’s best midwives, but I am so thankful I also chose to have a doula.
After birth, Lex continued to be an ongoing support, always available for any little question about my baby, and always there to hear any of the range of emotions I was going through as a new mother. When Kaileb was going through his colicky stage, she taught me how to hold him to soothe him. When he had his first fever, she shared how to care for him. When teething became an issue, she gave me homeopathic remedies... and she manages all of this while having 6 kids of her own.
And now, this week, my heart feels a big empty space as she has has left Bali to go back to Europe to continue her work there.
Thank you Lex. For so much. For not telling me how I should be as a mother, but for supporting me in becoming the best mother I could be.
Words are not enough.
I’m sharing this because I want more women to be empowered to make their own birthing choices, to be able to have the transformative miraculous experience that it can be.
And because I want to highly recommend Lex as an attending doula (she travels worldwide) and also to recommend her private pre-birth courses which she can do online.
Research says that with “the support of a doula, women were less likely to have pain-relief medications administered and less likely to have a caesarean birth. Women also reported having a more positive childbirth experience.”
Also, more research here from a study conducted on the Impact of Doulas on Healthy Birth Outcomes
How to begin to describe an experience that is very difficult to put into words?
Since we knew we were having a baby, we felt that a hospital birth was not what we wanted, we felt that there should be another way that is less violent and that honours the birthright of every woman, that of being able to give birth in the privacy of the set and setting of her choice.
While trying to figure out what route we wanted to take, we met Lex. Her gentle manner and wisdom gave us all the confidence to embark on this new journey of having a non-violent water birth.
She offered us all the literary resources, books, articles, audio, and stories of her own experiences.
Lex has honed this practice to a much-needed balance. She provided us with all the spiritual tools as well as the more practical and physical tools, leading to a very grounded balance.
The birth we had was not very easy, it was a birth that lasted 42 hours in total. In anyone's mind this might seem like a lot and many people would say that is enough time to proceed to have a caesarean section in a hospital.
Lex gave us a lot of confidence in the process, of knowing how to listen to the baby and the body, of really paying attention to the subtle details, and of having patience and trust in the process. So it was that after long hours, our son Aniel came into the world, welcomed into his room, in water, with the most beautiful environment/ambient we could provide.
Lex explained to us all the magic behind the placenta, how it protects the baby and how medicinal it can be.
The hypnobirthing technique she provided was a game-changer. We highly recommend Lex for her gentleness, experience, sensitivity, and intuition. She really gives her full attention to the process, the parents, and the baby.
Thank you so much Lex for the magic and wisdom you offer in this sacred practice, you help empower parents so that we can have a process as natural and beautiful as non-violent childbirth.
May you keep inspiring more families!.